You say byline, I say Hebblethwaite

Glad to see the BBC moving away from those elitist double-barrelled names, wot?

Ink stained handshake to Twitter's @primlystable. Full article at http://t.co/MRCbfHxq

Absurd, implausible and in the paper

Person trapped under sofa

A confused resident called out fire crews after mistakenly thinking there was someone trapped under his sofa. The man, of Clowes Court, Beccles, made the call at just before midday and a crew from the town arrived. However, they discovered it was a false alarm and left 20 minutes later after reassuring the confused homeowner.

From the East Anglian Daily Times.

Inky handshake to Fleet Street Blues which has the reveleation that the headline originally said "Person trapped under sofa."